Google suggests

These are the suggestions google threw up while i innocently typed Shoaib :)
Have no more words...was too funny and precious not to share it with you all.

Bechara mard!

Got this as an email forward and couldn't help sharing it here :)

Bechare mard

Agar aurat pe hath uthaye toh zalim,
aur pit jaye toh buzdil.

Aurat ko kisi ke saath dekh ke ladai kare toh jealous,
aur chup rahe to begairat.

Ghar se bahar rahe to awara,
aur ghar mein rahe toh nakara.

Bacchon to daante toh kathor,
naa daante to laparwah.

Aurat ko bahar kaam karne se roke toh shakki MCP,
aur na roke to aurat ki kamai khane wala.

Akhir ye bechara mard jaye to jaye kahan?

Janhit mein jaari, nari hai atyachari!

ha ha ha...guys take it easy...remember mard ko dard nahi hota :-)
nahh just kidin...v love you all!

Bald women, anyone?

Bald is beautiful...but only on The Bald Guy!
Do you like bald women? I somehow don't. Just doesn't seem feminine enough to me...just my thoughts...not judging based on any other factor. Imagine seeing a bald Katrina Kaif in her next movie!
Do you think this is beautiful?

TukTastic.com

So, you have a blog...huh! Big deal...Meet Samson, a rickshaw driver from Chennai. He has his own website - tuktastic.com. He gives out important information about the city and how to contact him by phone or email. I am mighty impressed with this man's entrepreneurial skills and ability. Who ever heard of a rick guy having his website? Great going Samson. Thumbs up to you! I know you will never read this post...but im proud of you.

Now, meet Sandeep (video below) who is also a rickshaw driver from Bombay. His aim seems to be how to best serve his customers. His rickshaw has a TV, fan, magazines, donation box. He gives discounts to handicapped, blind and even newly married couples :) How thoughtful is that! Such people are the bright shining stars of our country, the real heros who we forget so often. See this short video to know what he does and how he has made it.

It was Khantastic!

I'm just out of a show of My Name Is Khan and have to say it is a very very fine film. SRK is at one of his best acts ever as an autistic. Kajol was a real pleasure to watch and KJo, hats off to you for making such a sensitive and relevant movie and rising above the drab stereotype you had created as your brand!

What Karan Johar decides to show us is nothing new. I have heard some personal accounts of Muslims, especially in America who have gone through a bad and harrowing time after 11/9. Most of us have read or heard these stories before, but its the sensitivity with which KJo handled the subject and beautifully unfolded the story. You can feel the  injustice, the fear, the trauma that common innocent people suffer everyday in a country, which has become highly racially profiled post 11/9.

This is a movie everybody must see, more-so the Americans. Dub/sub-title it in many languages and show it around the world. People need to know, they need to awaken, they need to be sensitized to the other side, they need to come out of their make belief world and stop generalizing and painting a whole community black because of a certain group of lost directionless people. MNIK needs to be seen for its message of humanity and brotherhood and appeals to us to rise above religion (and other limiting factors) and not judge people by them. Thumbs up to the entire team of MNIK for their sincere attempt at this one!

Also, click here and do read what Masood had to say about the movie and post 11/9.

Now, here is the bit i liked most about the film :)  It put my favorite song from my school days back on my lips...hum honge kaamyab...hum honge kaamyaab...hum honge kaamyaab ek din...
Love the hindi english fusion in the video.

Visa God

Tere dwar khada ek applicant :-)  Got this as an email fwd.
 

TBG, please do visit this place. Would want a 1st hand account of this chamatkar :-)


That reminds me, some time back a friend was telling him how he had visited a temple in Hyderabad when he had applied for his visa/work permit - Chilkur Balaji temple..also widely known as the Balaji Visa temple. It's believed that praying to this god at this temple, will get your visa in no time. More than 1 lac devotees visit this place every week in hope their visa will be processed and they can head to the land of their dreams...wonder what the US visa authority may have to say to this...hmmm

Now, you know where to head when you file your visa papers :-)

Edited to add: TBG was very nice and took out time to visit this place and this is what he found.

The facebook addict!

Talk about addiction! Have you guys seen this video? Its crazy!

Don't test our patience anymore!

Truly reflects the mood of the country, the aam aadmi today.

Help me!

This family is asking for our help. 

Lets get together and save our national animal.  

Only 1411 left.

To know what you can do - click here and here.
To see my other post on this, click here.

Wanna see a video, check this out.

Reminds me of this beautiful poem.

The Tiger by William Blake

Tiger Tiger, burning bright,
In the forests of the night;
What immortal hand or eye.
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies.
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand, dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat.
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain,
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp.
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears
And watered heaven with their tears:
Did he smile His work to see?
Did he who made the lamb make thee?

Tiger Tiger burning bright,
In the forests of the night:
What immortal hand or eye,
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

Mr. Holmes: The new 007

What do you expect when you go to see a Sherlock Holmes movie?
Sherlock Holmes of course! The character created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.


Well, what you get is not Conan Doyle's Holmes, but Guy Ritchie's Holmes, the reinvented Holmes. He is one funny guy who does action stunts, boxing, has six pack abs, is messy, witty, and wierd at times. But, entertaining nevertheless :)


We get to see London in those times, a very lovable Dr. Watson, a sexy Sherlock Homes, good cominc timing, 2 women who are a mere distraction, and some black magic! Yea, its quite a mix that Guy Ricthie created...he got Holmes and mixed it with a bit of magic from Harry Potter and  to make the girls go aah ooh put in a bit of sexiness in Holmes, and then added the James Bond effect to it...and voila you have the new age action hero- Sherlock Holmes vying for your attention...which he does get!


Well, I did enjoy the movie, but it kept hurting me in parts that this was not the Holmes I came looking for. But, yes I still did get engaged and disengaged too at times. This was Guy Ritchie's 007 movie and back home in desi land...i could pass this off even as an Akshay Kumar action flick.


My feeling - if you grew up reading and admiring Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, this movie might disappoint you. But, if you are up for some experimentation and fun, you could come out like a happy camper after this 'cool' Guy Ritchie flick!

Im on a break!

This blog is on a break for some time. In the meantime, you can drop in and catch me at http://homebits.blogspot.com

Wake up Sid is about you and me...

Yes, Wake up Sid is about each one of us. I saw it and liked it. It was crisp, simple, fun, and touching at times. It was a feel good movie and i was smiling all through till the end :) Thanks! KJo for once. I had lost all hope in you after seeing the ageing SRK again and again in NY. I really needed a break...and this is just in time :)

If you are a college going kid, you will love it...I assmue you would coz the show i saw probably had 70% college going kids and they were all having a good time! If you are a parent, you can identify with it and the attitude of the Y generation. And if you are like me, you will smile looking back at your younger days and how your life has shaped on few years after college. After all there is a Sid in each one of us. And of course if you are woman from a smaller city, fighting your way into a bigger city, some parts may just strike a cord.

Whatever be the case, there is a good chance you might fall in love with the colorful Sid and his funny innocent ways and expressions. And yeah, you might say he's too colorfull for a man :) Yes, Ranbir is all there for you with his muticolored striped socks, red shorts, cartoon sketched t-shirts in nice bright happy colors!

All in all a light hearted movie to be enjoyed. If you have time, go for it and let me know if you liked or hated it! And if you are the movie critic...choti moti galtiyon ko jaane bhi do yaaron...

Maya Avenue - abuse of tax payers money

After her love for statues...Mayawati now turns her attention to spend 42cr of tax payer's money on her own mansion sprawling 1 lakh sq ft - Maya Avenue.

She has encroached upon all the land neighbouring her mansion and work is going on full force.

Why the hell is the govt allowing all this?

Read this outlook report

Equality in marriage

Got this you tube link from Amit Varma's India Uncut blog
Check out this brilliant ad. Its beautifully done :)

Our auto goes abroad and turns pretty

The world is flat! Really! so flat that our neighbourhood rick drove itself all the way abroad.

I took this pic on the streets of Brighton, UK.


























The pricing is just right! 3 pounds for the whole day! Wow!! Our rick guys need to catch up. Im sick of their tantrums and strikes every now and then for more fare.

And im so so impressed with the driver seat belt and that too in use :) Safety standards for ricks too!!...unheard! hmmm is anyone in India listening?

Another pat on the back...yes! its a battery operated rick. clap clap! a real green rick finally! I had got tired of the gimmick of painting CNG fitted ricks green and doing the environment bit.

And yes! its a lady driving it! And she's all set for the long day...has her water bottle and coffee nicely stacked in there.

So, the pan chewing, abusive, oogling auto wale bhaiya - ok.tata.byebye

P.S -Ratan please don't sue me for using your & ur esteemed company's name...pleeeaaase ;-)

Petition Update and the Statue in the Middle of the Ocean

Petition Update and the Statue in the Middle of the Ocean

Posted using ShareThis

Horn OK Please!

Ive always been amused by the one/two liners written in rickshaws and behind trucks and buses. I must confess whenever I have taken a rick, I have eagerly looked around for those lines or when i am behind a truck or bus I am reading those lines, smiling, and wondering what they mean...
These are some of the ones I remember and what i think of them:

• Buri nazar wale tera muh kala (We Indians really hate black dont we? I suspect the fair and lovely type industry started this slogan! Cmon! my fav color is black...i love my black dress, my black abercrombie t-shirt, my black grey eye makeup and of course my kala kala chashma ;) !!


• Buri nazar wale tera bachhe jiye, bade hoke tera khoon piye (this variant is so funny...somebody has a vampire like sense of humour out there.)

Dekho magar pyar se (Aaah the romantic type. And you thought truck and auto drivers were heartless.)

Dulhan wahi jo piya mun bhaye, gadi wahi jo note kamaye (lol..this guy got his priorities right in life. )

• Dont kiss me (Eeewwww...excuse me!!)
• Please sound HORAN (I know inglis, im deaf and this is the rule of the road...honk honk honk!)
• Mein bada hoke truck banoonga (i love this one! seriously!!)
• Maa ki dua, baap ki chamaat (and mera ghoosa! dhishum!!)
• Main phir aaunga (sachhi? pls dont bother. I hate stalkers!)
• Phir milenge (duniya gol hai dost!)
• Singh is King (yes of course...Akshay Kumar has made us deaf with that! and madam jee's pet manmohan jee is a sure winner too! Play on...Singh will always be King!)
• Dulhan hi dahej hai (wow! thats one right minded guy out there! )
• Mera bharat mahan, lekin junta pareshan (spot on bro! u got it! pulse of the junta. couldnt hav been more correct.)
• Malik ki gaadi, driver ka paseen, chalti hai road pe banke haseena (Wah hazoor wah! Bollywood sorely needs you! Anu Malik is looking for a sing writer. Contact right away!)

BIAL should have been Deve Gowda Int Airport

So guys, i got the dope on BIAL at Devanahalli and why it is so dam far away from Bangalore city. I did speak a bit about it in one of my previous posts. It is a really cool airport and you can easily spend all the time in the world there eating, shopping, surfing, bird watching...and what have you...well that is only after you reach there battling the traffic for 2-3 hours. S0, you finally reach cursing whoever thought of constructing the airport there...nowhere!!

So, who are you cursing - Mr Deve Gowda (DG) of course! Who else can you curse for the state of affairs in Karnataka! So the story i hear from some socially and politically awake Kannadigas goes like this (if this story isnt entirely correct and you know another story pls let us know)- When DG was the PM for some time, the proposal to come up with a new airport was doing the rounds and search for land was on...and DG proposed that the new airport would be at Devanahalli. Now why Devanahalli? Devanahalli is a village and has lots and lots of land all around and nothing else. And who owns all the land??? - the gowdas of course (did u hear about their benami assets? ok more on that in another post) ...so the far sighted politician that DG is, he saw a wonderful opportunity to rake in big big bucks for himself and his family...so once an airport comes up land prices shoot through the sky and the clan rolls in money..yay!

So, while the clan is having fun we are cursing and frustrated spending all our time, energy, and money cutting across the city to this sleep village. But for a man who eats, sleeps, breaths politics, you and me of course do not matter to him! He is a political animal, whose interests are permanent.

And you may know that Devanahalli is not the only case in Karnataka. People like DG and Kumaraswamy own most of the land in and around Bangalore, Hasan, parts of western ghats, iron rich Bellary district and many other parts of Karnataka that are strategically important. Well, in a way you may argue that such areas will see development of some kind due to the their vested interests, but I have my reservations on development in this manner...more on that some day!

Do 2 monitors on your desk make u more productive?

If somethings came in doubles it would make us all happy, like - 2 salaries, 2 cars, 2 lives, 2 houses, 2 bowls of ice cream ...but what about 2 monitors connected to the same CPU on your desk!! Wierd, right? hmmm...so thinks me!

Some bright star really up in the food chain in my company decides that all employees should have 2 monitors on their desk...coz his research says this will increase productivity by 30%!!! Why? How? Logic? who cares! its not for us small fishes to think of that. But, still why doesnt every commercial establishment have the same mantra...one employee, one CPU, but 2 monitors! Cool...but why should i complain...i have nothing to lose!

My only issue being - the world is in recession and a bad one at that! Businesses have closed down, stocks have crashed, lacs of people hav lost jobs and taken salary cuts....basically all bad things have happened... My company did not lag behind...sacked people every quarter, frozen salaries, and taken to every trick in the book to cut costs - cut perqs, increased transportation charges and even went down to removing the paper towels from the loos :(

So, with all this around who is the bright star who wants to spend thousands of $ in getting each one of us one more LCD monitor to grace our workstation...Mr bright star...please give us our raise, which has been on hold for so long now...we are happy and productive enough with one monitor to stare at! But still, somebody pls enlighten me on the productivity aspect of it.

Paranoid states of America

So, racial profiling was the Independence day gift to SRK. Detained & questioned for 2 hours at Newark airport, USA. Why? Just because of his last name. Cmon, he is a celebrity and who doesnt know him!! For god sake uncle sam get real...if nothing pls google SRK !!! I am having serious doubts on US intelligence and homeland security.

Guys, pls the first thing here - I am really against the VIP culture and the habit of making mini gods out of celebs and politicians...the law is the same for everyone...but imagine if SRK is being put through all this, what is the plight of common people who cannot call up their secretaries and the Indian High Commission to sort out. There have been umpteen celebs with last names that the Americans hate...who have faced this emabarrasment and humiliation before. But, no protests, appeals, talks have ever meant anything to big brother. I have had many friends and family who have been asked to step out of the queue in US airports and have been grilled because the computers say their names were suspicious! Friends and family have told me how they felt humiliated, scared, angry, shattered, tense, emotionally scarred from such incidents...but who cares they were some poor Indians of no value and with no rights in that country!

So my point is not against some Mr. SRK or Amir Khan or Kabir Khan being screened and questioned...my point is about why time and again..again n again the people being questioned, asked to step out of the queues belong to a certain religious cmmunity. My point is about racism, about racial proffiling, which has become synonymous with USA.

Big brother always gets it wrong...one 11/9 and they make a terrorist out of every Muslim and wipe out nations from the face of this world. Isnt it rather strange, that the President himself is Barack HUSSEIN Obama!! It is a country with rather strange laws. Aren't they the SUPER power? How do they get it all wrong?

I am a world citizen and have a right to have a free mind and live with respect and dignity in this world. Why do I need to go through all this every time I travel? Why should I be harrased and humiliated? What is wrong with my last name? What is wrong with my skin color?

Thank you Big brother for fueling hatred, racism, changing, dividing, and polarizing the world forever and ever.